During my time at Emanuel's House, I fell under the influence of several Christians with Charismatic beliefs. I hadn't grown up open to the idea of God being so active in people's lives. The Churches of Christ teach that God no longer directly heals the sick, especially not through spiritual gifts. I can't tell you how many times I heard people pray for God to "guide the doctor's hands." The understanding seemed to be that God worked miracles through every day events. Admittedly, I never heard anyone pray for God to "guide the combustion engine," before road trips.
Through conversation, I became convinced that the Church of Christ idea that spiritual gifts died in the first century was bad interpretation. There is a verse in 1 Corinthians 13 that says that spiritual gifts will cease when all things are made perfect. The Churches of Christ interpret this to mean, "when the Bible is canonized." Paul clearly means "at the resurrection." After all, the scripture says that we will know fully, in other words, we'll know more than the people who met Jesus in the flesh. Knowing fully isn't something that happens on earth, even if you've got a leather bound Bible. Of course, the reader is free to disagree.
On account of this, and of me finding my sister, I became convinced that God was active in our personal lives - that he answered prayers and that spiritual gifts may still exist. I never claimed to have such gifts, but I did feel as though God spoke to me now and then.
No doubt this idea will seem strange to some people, but I think I can explain it in a way that makes sense. Imagine for a moment that you've lost your keys. You've looked all over the place for them; you've traced your steps. You're about to be late for work and then it occurs to you to clear your mind. Upon clearing your mind you don't just see, but feel exactly where they are.
Hearing from God is kind of like this, only you believe that you are being told things that you couldn't have known otherwise. I once had the following experience. My friend had just been suspended from school for having a substance in her room that she wasn't allowed to have - this was a Christian school, remember. She was incredibly distraught over this.
On a whim, I decided to call her on the pay phone outside my room. It was one of those years that men were living on the first floor of Alma Gatewood hall. My friend decided that I should come out and visit her, that it might even help things with her family. They were important people at both the school and at church. They were livid.
She gave me directions to her house. On my way there, I realized that I'd lost the directions. This was before the era of cellphones and for those who don't know me I am terribly absent minded.
Nevertheless, I remembered every single turn and made it to the right house. I even remembered the address. What followed was a rather dramatic moment, at least for a college student. I had the opportunity not only to minister to my friend, but also to her family. And I felt God's presence throughout the whole thing - even to the point of getting direct instructions. My friend needed things from her room, which required that I find her roommate. I didn't have to look for her. I felt led to a particular building, Barbier Hall, and her roommate was there.
This wasn't the only time this happened. I often heard God telling me what to do, and weirdly, things often worked out. To this day, I couldn't tell you whether or not something supernatural was going on or whether I was experiencing confirmation bias. Either seems plausible.
During this time in my life, everything was based around religion. I woke up to God, I went to bed to God. I picked up people who were stranded or having trouble with their cars. If someone needed something, I either bought it for them or gave them the money if I had it. Whatever happened, I believed that God was in charge and that my job was only to trust and be the best person I could be. I wasn't perfect at this, of course, but I strove to be. I was incredibly evangelistic - but I was also tolerant of people with different views.
Certainly, this period wasn't the height of my knowledge or study, but it was the height of my personal spirituality in the way most Christians would see it. The next several years would see a gradual waning of this spirituality with ever increasing skepticism. This begins with my biblical studies at Rochester College.
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This is a good time to talk about my goal in writing this series. Humanists reading this will assume that I'm making a case for God. In later segments, Christians will assume that I'm making an argument against God. We live in a culture where most stories are meant to sway us to one perspective or another. I want to create understanding. This demands both that I explain why I believed in God so strongly and also why I came to abandon those beliefs. If I have time, I may someday also write about my years as a Humanist and what I've come to believe now. We're always learning - it's one of the reasons I think it is silly to condemn people for believing one thing or another.
Through conversation, I became convinced that the Church of Christ idea that spiritual gifts died in the first century was bad interpretation. There is a verse in 1 Corinthians 13 that says that spiritual gifts will cease when all things are made perfect. The Churches of Christ interpret this to mean, "when the Bible is canonized." Paul clearly means "at the resurrection." After all, the scripture says that we will know fully, in other words, we'll know more than the people who met Jesus in the flesh. Knowing fully isn't something that happens on earth, even if you've got a leather bound Bible. Of course, the reader is free to disagree.
On account of this, and of me finding my sister, I became convinced that God was active in our personal lives - that he answered prayers and that spiritual gifts may still exist. I never claimed to have such gifts, but I did feel as though God spoke to me now and then.
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| Me late 2001 |
Hearing from God is kind of like this, only you believe that you are being told things that you couldn't have known otherwise. I once had the following experience. My friend had just been suspended from school for having a substance in her room that she wasn't allowed to have - this was a Christian school, remember. She was incredibly distraught over this.
On a whim, I decided to call her on the pay phone outside my room. It was one of those years that men were living on the first floor of Alma Gatewood hall. My friend decided that I should come out and visit her, that it might even help things with her family. They were important people at both the school and at church. They were livid.
She gave me directions to her house. On my way there, I realized that I'd lost the directions. This was before the era of cellphones and for those who don't know me I am terribly absent minded.
Nevertheless, I remembered every single turn and made it to the right house. I even remembered the address. What followed was a rather dramatic moment, at least for a college student. I had the opportunity not only to minister to my friend, but also to her family. And I felt God's presence throughout the whole thing - even to the point of getting direct instructions. My friend needed things from her room, which required that I find her roommate. I didn't have to look for her. I felt led to a particular building, Barbier Hall, and her roommate was there.
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| The Cross in the Woods |
This wasn't the only time this happened. I often heard God telling me what to do, and weirdly, things often worked out. To this day, I couldn't tell you whether or not something supernatural was going on or whether I was experiencing confirmation bias. Either seems plausible.
During this time in my life, everything was based around religion. I woke up to God, I went to bed to God. I picked up people who were stranded or having trouble with their cars. If someone needed something, I either bought it for them or gave them the money if I had it. Whatever happened, I believed that God was in charge and that my job was only to trust and be the best person I could be. I wasn't perfect at this, of course, but I strove to be. I was incredibly evangelistic - but I was also tolerant of people with different views.
Certainly, this period wasn't the height of my knowledge or study, but it was the height of my personal spirituality in the way most Christians would see it. The next several years would see a gradual waning of this spirituality with ever increasing skepticism. This begins with my biblical studies at Rochester College.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is a good time to talk about my goal in writing this series. Humanists reading this will assume that I'm making a case for God. In later segments, Christians will assume that I'm making an argument against God. We live in a culture where most stories are meant to sway us to one perspective or another. I want to create understanding. This demands both that I explain why I believed in God so strongly and also why I came to abandon those beliefs. If I have time, I may someday also write about my years as a Humanist and what I've come to believe now. We're always learning - it's one of the reasons I think it is silly to condemn people for believing one thing or another.
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